Get on your knees and pray for this little boy

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stopping vs. more

ok- so its hard to say its over, we are done and come to grips with it. But I keep thinking to myself that I am done. but there is this little part of me that wants more. I keep thinking of all the fun things we can start doing and planning, some things that I can get and do and I am cool with it. Then I think but what if we have 1 or 2 more... then I start thinking about what if things going really bad for me and my baby, do I really want to go thru that again. Because I don't. 

For those of you that d

on't know. I had Placenta Previa with Caden. God-thankfully I had a great outcome. He was born via c-section 4 weeks early and weighed in at 6ibs & 9oz and was 191/2 inches long. HEALTHY BOY!!!!!!! Lungs, eyes, hearing, everything checked out as if he was on time. (THANK YOU LORD FOR MY HEALTHY BOY!) When I think about it, there are so many emotions that go with being pregnant. My Mom, & sister both had great pregnancies and deliveries, why am I the exception. Bed rest with both Ellie and Caden, odd things with both end of pregnancies. When I think about having another one, I get excited, and think, "OH! another baby. How fun and exciting." and it is. I wouldn't take anything back. But then, the what if's. and I don't think I would be able to handle another what if pregnancy. People tell me t

o wait a couple more years and then try (1st off there is no try, its do for E & I). But then I say *STARTING OVER* ummm, no thank you. Am I crazy or something... hahaha 

so... yes, I told E that I think I am done last night. First time I have admitted it out loud, and now I am saying it on here. 

I believe I am done. 

Is it hard for everyone to say that? If I say it, then I have to mean it, and if I mean it, then I have to do it and if I do it, then there is NOO going back. and thats the hard part about it. 

Growing up I always wanted a BIG family- 11 kids. Well, 11 kids was out of the question, so I said 7, but then thought, 4 would be great- nice even number. Now 2- really?!!?! so yes, I think 2 is great. I like my small family and E likes kn

owing we are done. So IF I still feel this way by the beginning of 2010 it is off to the clinic for me :) 

ok- so here are a couple pic. of my lovely kids :)

Happy ending right!!!

Ellie & Eric swimming and shooting me & papa Steve with water... 

Caden being Caden

Smiling with his tongue hanging out :)

I love these girls

Kinley, Mileigh, & Ellie at Mileighs 2nd Birthday Party!! Aren't they the cutest things ever... I sure do think so. I mean, just look at those smiles... makes me smile right back at them. (I also can't help but say, "one of these is not like the other." talking about Ellie being blonde and the others not so much..)

(Close-up)

Mommies Day!!

This is what I received from my kids!!! Don't be jealous you all.... Its the CD of Lady Gaga...

I must say, I do love it. I sing the song, Poker Face all the time. So now, I can sing it in the car instead of Veggie Tales. heehee Not to worry, we still listen to Tales 99% of the time. :) (and yes, I did get more then just the CD.. we went shopping :) need I say more... 

I always looked forward to Mothers Day and celebrating my Mom. But it wasn't until I became a Mom, that I really knew and understood the meaning of *MOM* Ellie was only 4 months old, for my *REAL* Mothers Day (We celebrated it when I was pregnant. We just found out a few days before Mothers Day we were expecting her.). The things that my Mom did, does and continues to do, just amazes me. My Mom Rocks. 

I will say though, I am pretty lucky to have 3 special Moms in my life. 

First- my Mom, Sue. She has been there for me & my family for soo many things. She has been one of my rocks. When I was on bed rest with both kids, she was there for me taking care of me, my house and Ellie. She took me to endless Dr. appointments when I was pregnant with Ellie, she stayed with me while I was in labor with Ellie, and with Caden was by my side when I needed that extra hope. She has been my (other) confidant, my house cleaner, my baby sitter, my therapist, my cook, my BEST FRIEND, MY MOMMY!!! Even though, I don't think you, Mom, read this, I LOVE YOU!! MOST OF ALL!!!

Second- my MIL, Jeanie. As like my Mom, she has been there of my family. She too has helped out in ways when we needed her. She has been a blessing to me. My MIL, has been an awesome friend; someone to laugh with about the stories of E, and a great Mom to me and a Grammy to my kids. Our kids are blessed by her and love her very much. I am very thankful for her, and all that she has done for me, for E, and my kids. Thank you, Jeanie! And even though, I don't think you will be reading this, I LOVE YOU! 

Third-my step-MIL, Renee. Even though she is a step Mom, there really is no step mom about her. She has been great to me, Eric and our kids. Sometimes you hear those crazy stories about the step-mom. Well, sorry you wont be hearing any of those. We truly have been blessed by her and her love for our family- we are very lucky to have her. She has been a great Grammie Na' to Ellie and Caden and they love her dearly. She has also been a great friend, and Mom to me and has helped me out in numerous ways. Thank you, Renee for all that you have done for me, E, and my kids. And a Thank you for reading my blog unlike the other 2... hahaha  j/k   I LOVE YOU!!!

And to ALL the other Mommies out there, I hope you were truly blessed by your husbands, your kids, and families on OUR DAY! 

HAPPY MOTHER's Day!!! 

Eric and his Sister, Kimberly

Its them then and now. 

MY CEWL KIDS

CADEN being all cool, and chill resting his hand on the couch

ELLIE wearing her COOL HAT and GASSES!!!

(she loves to wear her glasses in the car. Good thing

since we live in AZ, right!?!

ELLIE even wearing her glasses at McDonalds INSIDE

THe Girls I grew up with

Left to Right:

Caden (my boy- Emily is holding him), Emily, Me, Dawn, & Ally

Beckham (Emilys boy), Ellie (my girl), Britton (Dawns boy) Kynslee (Allys girl)

The babies are a month apart and Dawn & Allys kids are 5 days apart. 

Ellie and Beckham are 2 months apart and 10 days. 

We all grew up together. And Because of FACEBOOK we were able to reconnect again. Emily and I live just a few miles away. As where Dawn is here *visiting* for the next several months while her hero hubby is oversees, and Ally was actually visiting from Idaho. Sadly, we missed Amber- her kids were sick :(  But for the most part the girl gang were all there. 

I mean how cool is that! We grew up playing together and now we were watching out kids play together. I would have never thought that day would come.

It was so much to fun to see them again. And I look forward to doing it again. 

Here is Ellie and Beckham holding hands saying, "around and around." over and over again as they walk in a circle around this thing. They were so funny. So yeah, holding hands again... Emily are you ready for this? As much as it is cute, I am sooo not ready?!?! hahaha :)

EASTER 2009

For Easter we went to church and then spent Sunday afternoon at my parents house with 1/2 my family and Erics Dad and step-mom. We had a lot of fun- of course who wouldn't watching their 2 year old looking for easter eggs and then getting ALL the candy :) YUMMY!!!! 

I love these 3 pictures of Caden- this is him and his Easter Outfit. Man he was a stud :)

Trying to attempt a family picture by the roses. We were facing the sun, and Ellie didn't like it. Would have made for a pretty picture. oh well :)

Here is Ellie looking for Easter Eggs at my parents house. Her basket was over flowing since she was the only *todler* looking for Easter Eggs. Bailey & Cameron were looking for the hidden ones. 

Here we are at church looking for eggs. I don't think she really got the concept down. 

This is Jonathan (AKA Jonanan) One of her best friends 

Daddy helping her open the easter eggs to get the candy

Caden all chilled during church. (Yes! I know. I am  known to take pictures during church.)

My Dad was holding him. And he kept looking up at him like this. It was so funny and cracking me up. So I had to snap a picture of it. 

Daddy and Caden waiting for the adult class to get over. 

In Memory of Reilly of Troy, Defender of the Northern Gate

Reilly of Troy, Defender of the Northern Gate (yes, that is her name, given by her Daddy, Eric. Which is from the book of Wheel of Times, I think.) She was born in mid Aug. 2002 in Mesa, Arizona. She went to Puppy Heaven 6 1/2 years later. She leaves behind, her comrad- partner in crime- Leena McHeimer, Her BFF-Ellie, her Daddy (she was sure loyal to Eric, and a jealous dog. stories on that later), and her step-mommy (not sure who her *mommy* was... hahaha). 

I wish I was able to put on here her baby pictures, and some really cute ones of her and Leena playing together. They are on my broken computer. 

She would let Ellie sit in her tummy and read her books, color, sing, or whatever Ellie wanted to do she would let her. If she got tired of it, she would just get up and go. She loved to be petted (which dog didn't though, right!) We always joked that if anyone broke into our house, Reilly would lick'em to death. She was a licker, and I could not stand that. So, I spent my time with her to brake that of her, and I did. She loved to sleep in bed with us, go for walks, or car rides. All we had to do was say, "LETS GO!!!" And she was at the door waiting for us. She could NEVER go potty by just letting her outside. You had to tell her at least a half a dozen times before she would go... E thought it was cute, which it was but not when you had 5 minutes to spend on that. 

OH! I need to talk about her jealousy issues.... When E & I started dating and if he sat by me, she would come over and get him to pet her. She was always trying to get in between us. I don't think she liked me to much... And that is why I am called the Step-Mommy... hahaha :) But we grew to like eachother and love each other. 

Below are some pictures in random order of Reilly, with Leena and Ellie. 

Reilly, you were a great dog, a very sweet dog. You were the sweetest girl and very loyal to us. You will be truly missed around here. We all very thrilled that you were in our lives, even if was for a short time. We are honored to call you our puppy. We all love you, and miss you bunches. 

Ellie coloring in Reillys tummy

A few days before she got really sick

Ellie taking her puppies for a walk to the park and back home.

Reilly playing with Leena in the summer- she is the one jumping in the air. This how we would normally see her playing outside- when she was feeling good. 

Kinley giving Reilly a hug & a kiss

Reillys head in the background- I like this pic. of Ellie. Notice the one shoe on and the purse on her shoulder.

Reilly running in the front yard

Beautiful Christian Sister!!

(My Grandma, My Sister, Me & My Mom)

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER     

By Maya Angelou 

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ 

That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'  

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin''  

I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.  

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.  

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.  

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect, 

 My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..  

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,  

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Pretty is as Pretty does... But beautiful is just plain beautiful!

I'm supposed to send this to BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and you are one of them!

 If you share this with other women, you will boost another woman's self  esteem, 

and she will know that you care about her. 

Happy Birthday Chris

Happy 35th Birthday! 

(Note to self: Don't go to this place for your birthday. Some seafood place on Stapley and I60). 

(And this is why)

(looking good my friend, looking good)